Child Custody Advices

Are You Thinking About Trying to Get Sole Custody of Your Children?

Posted on May 24th, 2008 in Uncategorized child, custody, sole custody

If you are undergoing an angry divorce or ending of another relationship involving children, you may consider filing for sole custody so that you don’t have to share parenting with your ex. Before making the decision to pursue full custody, you need to consider the financial and emotional aspects involved.

There are two types of sole custody. Sole legal custody involves one parent having all decision-making authority for the child. Generally, this is the type of custody that may be generically referred to as sole custody. Sole physical custody means that the child will live with one parent with the other parent usually receiving visitation.

The presumption in many courts is joint legal custody where both parents participate in decision making on behalf of their child. This is due, in part, to research that shows the noncustodial parents who are able to parent their child are less likely to become absentee parents. Parents have joint physical custody if the child splits living time evenly between the two parent’s homes.

Before a court will grant sole custody, there needs to be evidence that the other parent is unfit. Usually the noncustodial parent is granted visitation, and there are requirements for the other parent to provide information on the child’s life such as education, medical and religious concerns. Unless the other parent does not want to remain involved with the child, it is quite hard to convince a court to not allow a parent to see his or her child, even if there has been documented abuse to the child. A parent who is found to be unfit may be granted supervised visitation and given a court order to attend a treatment program with the eventual goal of increasing visitation and parental participation if the parent complies with the court’s orders.

Sole custody is not a given in any situation. The judge is supposed to rule based on the best interests of the children. But, your definition of best interests and the court’s may vary widely.

There are some cases where a sole custody award would be possible. Sexual or physical abuse of a child could result in full custody being granted to the other parent. But, some parents make false accusations of abuse in order to gain custody. Knowing this, courts may require substantial evidence that abuse has occurred before awarding sole custody to the other parent. Unfortunately, there are cases where abuse accusations have been real, and judges awarded custody to the abusers because they thought that the accusing parent was malicious.

If your ex is serving a jail term, especially if it’s a long sentence, you may be able to win sole custody. Substance abuse or mental illness may also be viewed as just cause to grant custody to the other parent.

A history of physical abuse towards you can result in the court granting full custody to you. But, if the children were not adversely affected by the violence, the court may not see harm to you as cause to take legal custody from the other parent.

An absentee parent may give you an opportunity to get full custody, if the lacik of involvement isn’t due to a legitimate reason such as serving in the military. When the ex finds out that you are trying to take away custody, he or she may become involved again in order to keep this from happening. Courts generally won’t take away rights from a parent who wants to retain custody.

Consider what going for sole custody is going to cost you. Financially, the bills could easily run into the five-figure range. The stress of a prolonged court fight is extreme and could permanently damage your health. Your children may be put in the middle and used as pawns to spy on you and perpetuate the ex’s agenda. You may even be threatened or harmed physically by the ex or one of his or her friends. Kidnapping or other harm to the children beyond emotional abuse could take place.

Even if you share joint legal custody with your ex, you may be able to get some protection from a violent or vindicative ex. Decision making authority could be split be areas such as one parent being responsible for school decision and the other parent being in charge of medical concerns. There are professionals called parenting coordinators that serve as the go between so that warring parents don’t have to necessarily communicate with each other.

Think carefully before making a decision to file for sole custody. Unless you are in one of the situations described above where you have a good chance at winning full custody, the time and expense of a custody battle probably won’t be worth it to you.

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About the Author: Annie Parron has been single parenting for seven years. For other dating articles by Annie, visit The Single Parent Spot Co-parenting with someone who is mentally ill or a substance abuser? Visit Co-parenting Nightmare